Test Positive

Overwhelming, worries, stress, unfinished, unfulfilled, jealous, self-conscious.

These are words that can negatively affect a person's attitude, behavior, and take on life. Just reading them probably makes you feel a little down, as you can relate personally to each one. How do you respond to that? Do you dwell? Forget about it? Talk about it? Drink? Blame it on your parents? Beat yourself up?

I've spent too much time thinking - too much time delving into why I feel a certain way. This isn't a bad thing because discovering your root of emotions and thinking is important to personal development and understanding..

..wait for it..

As long as you don't dwell on it. Dwelling on the negativity (whether it is real or perceived) in your life can drag you down and downplay any positivity you would normally see in a situation. I used to be a completely positive person, thinking nothing bad about anyone, befriending everyone,and even keeping all my sarcasm as nice as possible. Gag, right? Well, someone convinced me this wasn't a good thing, so I developed harsher sarcasm, judgmental points of view, and negative self-reflection .. All interpreted as a "backbone."

Eventually, I lost grasp of a needed balance between the two trains of though and dove into the one that ultimately wasn't me. Outwardly, you can be "you" (or what you want people to perceive as you), but what happens inside eventually poisons that.

I found it permeating areas of my life where it has no business.

We tend to label things as "good" or "bad" immediately. You are running late and hit a stoplight: Bad. A skanky stranger talks to you: Probably an annoyance. Your coworker talks a lot: Bad. Your boyfriend has the wrong tone of voice: Bad.

Many who triumph never label what they go through as bad and lament over it. They simply take it as a given. If you never label something as bad, then you don't need positive thinking and the stress associated with getting something bad and experiencing it as such until you figure out how to make lemonade out of it and it goes away.

You don't have to pick up this load. Don't pick up that useless burden. When you dwell on the negative aspects of life and compare your failings to others' successes, you can become discouraged.

Maybe the solution is to retrain your thoughts. (The following is taken from the internets, but it explains perfectly exactly how I want to summarize these thoughts.)

"1. Live for yourself. When you constantly try to be the person others want you to be, you cheat yourself out on the individuality and your own dreams. Take a long hard look at what you want out of life and plan your daily routine to bring you closer to it.

2. You can't control outside circumstances, but you can control your reaction to them. If you're currently working for a demanding boss, make a conscious effort to tell yourself that his poor behavior can make you upset only if you allow it.

3. Leave your work at the office..mentally. When you step outside after a trying day's work, tell yourself that you have all day tomorrow to deal with the problems and mentally switch gears by thinking something positive or planning your next vacation, even I'd it's months away.

4. Slow down. When constantly pressed to finish tasks, you can develop a negative attitude towards life. If time is a commodity, figure out how you can schedule your chores more efficiently, like maybe waking up early.

5. Learn something new every day. You can encourage a positive attitude by always providing something new in your life. As a child, your curiosity led you to explore and learn. Recapture that feeling.

6. Make a list of the positive aspects of your life. Include your achievements, like humor or playing an instrument. Nothing negative should be on this list. You can read it when you need a mental boost.

7. Help others. Extending a helping hand to those in need makes you feel needed and worthwhile. Helping others allows us to be thankful for the blessing we have and helps us maintains positive attitude."

Breathe. Find balance. And live confidently for yourself so that you can be there for others.